What Does Your Life Say About Your Self-Esteem?

Mood Music: Harry Hippie by Bobby Womack

The other day I was talking to a family member about someone else we mutually know. The person was involved in a pretty bad situation that could have been rectified rather easily, but this person has allowed things to get to the point where he/she is doing something that is rather sad and mortifying.

I can’t tell you more details as I try to protect the privacy of the person and the situation, but this person is choosing to do something that no one with a better choice would willingly decide to do.

This individual has been heavily on my mind lately because I would like to help, but as I washed dishes one evening and pondered over their state of affairs a strong thought came into my mind-

I cannot help this person, because he/she does not want to be helped.

We all live our lives at the level of our perceived self-worth.

Self-Worth and You 

Think of yourself, have you ever let a bad situation and willingly let it get worst? Have you ever not turned lemons into lemonade? Have you ever allowed a toxic thing or person to totally overtake your life?

If you answered yes to any of these questions think of how you felt about yourself shortly before these things took place. With almost one hundred percent certainty I can answer this question for you- it was during a period of time that your self-esteem was low or when you just didn’t feel that good about yourself.

Now I have another series of questions. Have you ever pumped the brakes on a bad situation? Have you ever turned lemons into lemonade? Have you ever seemed to attract interesting or fun people and situations into your life?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions these events more than likely occured at a time of high self-esteem. Self-esteem is like a magnetic that attracts either negative or positive forces.

Low-Self Worth and Creating Bad Situations 

Some people just seem like they can’t catch a break, something bad is always happening to them.

We all go through periods of hard times, but people with very low self-esteem have a way of making bad situations worst until their lives spirals out of control. They develop a woe is me mindset that makes them susceptible to negative energies.

I recently watched a documentary on Dorothy Dandridge and for every ounce of beauty and talent she possessed, she had three times as many insecurities.

There were some situations she couldn’t control like having a daughter with a mental illness, an abusive parental figure, and enduring racism, but those circumstances started acting on her self-esteem and soon she entered into bad relationship after bad relationship until she died after having self-medicated, being forced to enter bankruptcy after being taken for a ride by an abusive spouse, and having her heart broken to the point where there was no hope for healing.

Low self-worth can turn a person into a masochist. These people become so acclimated to pain, that they start to enjoy the idea of it. They even create painful circumstances in their lives, intentionally.

No one willingly falls into this frame of mind, it’s normally a person’s way of punishing themselves, because they feel like pain or punishment is all they are worthy of.

Behavior of People with High Self-Worth

Just the opposite is true of person with high self-worth. Not only do these people attract positivity into their lives, they also feel like they are worthy of all the good life affords them.

It’s like positivity just feels welcome and continues to move and flow through their entire existence.

Checking Your Self-Worth 

If you notice a pattern of negativity in the form of poor finances, failed romances, abusive relationships, and sketchy friendships, maybe it is time to examine your self-worth. Maybe you too are trying to find a way of punishing yourself for how you perceive yourself to be.

I can admit that in my life I have attracted some very disturbing situations and destroyed some really good things that have come my way based of self-esteem issues.

Now that I am actively working on shedding past scars, I see beautiful things starting to unfold.

The Break Down 

At this point in the post, I would normally give detailed advice on how to raise your self-worth to dwell in a more positive space, but the thing about perceived self-worth and self-esteem is that it is personal.

The only thing you can do is, be your own psychotherapist and target what exactly negatively affected your perception of self and try to work those issues out.

Things that can damage your personal opinion of your self can range from number of circumstances such as bullying, bad parenting, disability, or abuse.

We often feel like, if we had have been more beautiful, or more careful, or smarter bad things wouldn’t have taken place, but the truth lies within the fact that these things did happened and there is absolutely nothing we can do to change them.

What we can do is forgive ourselves for any preconceived notions we may have had about what could have been done differently and try our hardest to push past those events for a brighter tomorrow.

We can start living a better life by not punishing ourselves day after day with bad choices. It can be so hard to cope with this idea, but the pain we often walk around with is not our own.

Rather, it belongs to the people who hurt us, as they are the ones who eventually have to answer to it and be punished for it as well.

Now is the time to take a serious look at yourself and examine everything to determine the impact your self-worth is having on your life.

If your see positivity, keep doing whatever you are doing, but if you find lots of brokenness, maybe it’s time to make a change.