Snakes in The Squad- Not Every Friend is A Real Friend
Mood Music: No New Friends by DJ Khaled and Drake
Fairweather Friend by Johnny Gill
Everyone is buzzing about having a squad, a team, and A1’s. I mean who wouldn’t want that? People who you can hangout with, who love you, encourage you and keep it 100 with you, but at what cost do you want it?
Would you sacrifice truth and honesty just to say you have a squad? Let me let you in on a little secret, all the members of your team don’t wish you the best. Everyone you call a friend doesn’t always love you.
Writing has opened a mental door where I can get random inspiration from everything, so at work last week I got spontaneously inspired.
I was asked to draw a quick sketch of people in a crowd cheering in cartoon format. It was a very rough sketch. I had a very limited amount of time to finish and I didn’t fine tune the details like I normally do. It’s honestly some of my worst work, but management was pleased with it.
Seconds before it was due, I noticed that one of the women in the crowd who was supposed to be holding up one index finger, appeared to be giving the middle finger!
Everyone was all smiles, cheering, and this one old lady was not only frowning but serving zero F’s given. I got a great laugh out of it, as I wondered what part of my subconscious mind was thinking this!
After a while laughter turned into seriousness as I considered the notion. In life, we quickly gaze over our friends and they might all appear to be cheering you on, but if you look closely you will easily find some snakes in the squad.
A Story of a Serpent
When I was in high school I had a friend, a girl who I believed to be my best friend. She befriended me early in our high school career, and I thought she cared for me like I cared for her. However, when my looks and personality really started to blossom I noticed an unsettling change.
My very first incident with her loyalty came when a very popular and attractive guy asked me to his senior prom. When I told her, instead of congratulating me, she picked they guy up in her car after school and tried to change his mind about taking me to his prom.
I knew on some level she had a crush on him- like every girl in our school- so I just assumed she was hurt and acting out, but this just opened the flood gates for acts against me.
From that day forward she tried everything she could to humiliate me anytime I got more attention than her. Kind and naive little ole me made excuse after excuse for her behavior until she hurt me so badly the friendship basically ended.
You see she was all for being my friend in ninth grade when I was just leaving my awkward middle school stage – girls sometimes pick friend groups so they can be perceived as the most attractive inside of the social circle- but when I gained confidence and started to blossom I lost my usefulness as her friend and she betrayed me.
She was the first of several people to hurt me in this way, but I don’t regret any of it. These circumstances have helped me to gauge if a person is for me or pretending for selfish gain.
So has this article made you question if all your team members are loyal? Here is how to determine if there are snakes in your squad- take the test
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Snakes in the Squad Test
1.) How does your friend respond when there is a fire in your life? When you are in a crisis such as dealing with death, financial difficulty, illness, or sadness does this person…
A. Play the role of fire fighter and bring over some soup, money, a sympathy card, or simply listen.
B. Change the subject, discuss their problems instead, or totally dismiss the subject.
2.) How does your friend respond when you call with exciting news such as a raise, promotion, new partner, proposal, or new material asset?
A. Cheer loudly, ask for more details excitedly and/or make a date to celebrate.
B. Change the subject, discuss what they don’t have and how what you have isn’t fair. Brag about their own accomplishments, and/or say that you only achieved a certain thing because (insert negative statement).
3.) When you call your friend for any reason do they mostly. . . .
A. Sound happy to hear from you and immediately start a conversation.
B. Say they will call you back, act uninterested, and/or take a long time to warm up.
4.) When a fairly petty disagreement happens between you and a friend over something minor such as a sports team, political candidate, news story, or television show how long does it take to resolve the issue?
A. Less than a week, usually a few hours
B. More than a week
5.) When a friend invites you along to be with them and people you don’t personally know, such as their family, colleagues, or friends of theirs who are not mutual friends of yours, does your friend….
A) Try to include you as much as possible in the conversation and try to make you feel as welcome as possible.
B) Ignore you, treat you like an uninvited guest, or makes you the butt of humiliating jokes.
6.) When you talk about your day with your friend do they …
A) Grin and bear it no matter how boring the details.
B) Change the subject to be about their own day and/or blatantly show disinterest.
7.) If you have a stain on your shirt, lipstick on your teeth, food on your beard, unzipped pants, or a dirty nose does your friend. . . .
A.) Laugh a little then offer you a Tide Stain Removing Pen or cosmetic wipe, a napkin, tell you to XYZ, or give you a tissue.
B.) Laugh for an extended amount of time then let you go on for hours disheveled.
If you answered B to more than one of these questions it is time to consider finding a new squad member. This person is jealous of you and is more than likely using you for emotional support.
If you answered A to all of the above then, congratulations! You have found a real A1 true #squadgoals !
