Good Women are Attracted to Vision
From a psychological standpoint women are supposed to be attracted to wealth, while men are attracted to women.
A study by David Buss, et al. conducted in 1989 indicates that men are attracted to the physical attributes of woman- hips, breasts, and other signs of fertility and health.
The study argues conversely, that women are attracted to attributes of a male related to resources- “earning capacity, social status, education and intelligence, and ambition and industriousness” (direct quote from study, Meet the Parents: Parent-Offspring Convergence and Divergence in Mate Preferences. Personality and Individual Difference).
The results of the study were blamed on Evolutionary Psychology citing that men are attracted to women who appear to be healthy and fertile to ensure their personal genetic material could survive a pregnancy and infancy.
Women are supposedly attracted to men who have the financial resources available to help a child have basic needs like food, water, and shelter met.
The goal of both sexes is basically the same- pair with someone who can ensure their DNA will survive into future generations.
Anger with the Study
This study has always made me a little uncomfortable and somewhat angry.
I know that men are visual and I agree that men chose women subconsciously based on the perceived notion of fertility and vitality, but as a woman who knows many women, I find it hard to believe that women choose men based solely on resources alone.
The women I know have dated some of the richest most powerful men in the country, as well as men society perceives as the scum of the earth.
I do know a few women who are gold diggers, but mostly the women I know are attracted to and date men of every social economic situation.
Personally, ‘I don’t want no scrub’ (*Cues TLC), but I do not care if a guy is rich or poor. One of my biggest requirements for a mate has always been intellect and goals.
I started thinking of all the women I know and I find that most women are either attracted to intelligence or charisma not necessarily what’s in the guy’s bank account.
With all this information in the back of my head, I was watching a sermon on my beloved BFF YouTube by the late-great Minster Myles Monroe and everything about the David Buss study changed for me.
Women Are Attracted to Vision Because of the Good Sis Eve
Monroe was discussing relationships and marriage. Because Adam and Eve are the first biblical example we have of romantic partnership, pastors enjoy doing studies of their brief lives in the Biblical text when the subject of marriage presents itself.
Monroe said that women are attracted to men with vision. Monroe’s explanation for this concept is surprising.
When Adam was created, God gave Adam charge and domination over all the animals and the property in the beautiful Garden of Eden.
God gave Adam charge of naming the animals and over time Adam noticed that all the animals had a helper or companion. In his loneliness, Adam started to look for a suitable companion/helper for himself and found none amongst all the animals (Genesis 1:20).
In Genesis 2:18 (NIV) God states, “It is not good that man should be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
God sent Adam into a deep sleep and from Adam’s rib came Eve (Genesis 1:21-22). So basically Eve’s entire purpose was to help Adam with the vision that God had given to him.
Examples of Women’s Attraction to Vision
When I heard this I had to pump the breaks on the sermon super fast. I needed a moment to think and all theses ideas came rushing over me….. OMG! I’m attracted to vision. Not only am I attracted to vision all the good woman I know are (notice I said ‘good’ not “all”)
A man with vision is the sexist thing alive to most women. I think David Buss’s study was great, but it forgot one important thing. Women are indeed attracted to intelligence, ambition and industriousness because all these things are indicators of vision.
Women are predisposed with the need to help. Personally if I don’t have someone to help, I’m driven a little crazy. I get this unreal satisfaction out of helping others, especially when I’m helping others expand their vision. It’s all a part of a woman’s genetic makeup.
I looked around at personal to public accounts of real love and if a woman really loves a guy she he is often behind the scenes helping her man with his vision.
My brother-in-law runs an entertainment business, and his most genius social content and ticket giveaway ideas come from my sister.
I’ve meet many people in the entertainment business by writing and doing photography for my brother-in-law and most of the married celebrities/promoters I know have a wife behind the scenes doing the most important work.
When I first encountered Ruth Ross Edmonds (who I’ve written about in this article) she was behind the scenes helping her husband (After 7 lead singer and brother of famed songwriter BabyFace) Kevon Edmonds promote the groups’ show, work the crowd before the show, and take pictures at the meet and greet.
Though Dr. Ruth is an amazing orthodontist with her own vision, practice, and coins, out of sheer love, she stands behind her husband’s vision.
My mother has always pushed my father’s creativity to new heights and my grandmother was always backing my grandfather’s vision of giving cheerfully.
Beyoncè Knowles-Carter is the baddest living entertainer in the world (not up for discussion). She has her own thing, her own bag, but her love has helped her husband, rapper Jay-Z, turn his image into this amazingly woke, genius philanthropist guy.
Michelle Obama has a fancy law degree, an Ivy League education, and more credentials than any first lady in history, but she expanded her husband’s vision in the White House. Mrs. Obama used her upbringing of warmth and openness to create a warm and open White House, something that was a totally new concept and it solidified Obama’s reign in American history as one of the greatest.
Helping is a Women’s Love Language
Women crave a man with vision so she can do the thing she was created to do – help.
Women MUST help. If its on the simple scale of correcting the grammar of a man’s social media post so he won’t be perceived as ignorant, ironing a shirt so that he can look a little more presentable for a major meeting or on the grand scale of helping significantly change the social infrastructure of the White House- we want to help.
Women have personal vision for sure, but our greatest satisfaction comes from expanding the vision of our partners because this is why we were created.
Women don’t require recognition for our efforts, we are just natural multipliers. We were created to turn a simple sperm cell into an entire complex individual. Women more so than men, were created to create- simple as that.
Men who are reading, if you ever question if a woman you’re dating truly likes you, you must ask yourself these simple questions, “Does she ask about my vision? Once she knows my vision, does she try to help me expand it ?” If the answers are ‘yes’, then the love is real.
Men also don’t be offended if a woman is attracted to your vision. Aren’t you attracted to her hips and lips first, and then you chose her because she’s a good person?
That’s the same fact for woman, initially we might be attracted to the fact that you have vision (NOT the actual vision- that’s not love, that’s a goal digger), because that gives us something to fulfill our need to help.
However, much more quickly than you, do we fall in love with you as a person outside of the fact you have vision.
As a matter of fact, a (good) woman isn’t attracted to your vision because she desires your coins or the work you do, it’s because she loves or likes you so much she wants to help you live at the highest standard you were created for -Adam before the fall, a man living out his vision successfully in perfect peace and harmony with God.
Look below to watch a snippet of the Myles Monroe sermon that inspired this post.